«And my wife likes sex with a lot of men...»
That said, it may help to explore some of your own needs and wants via a one-on-one session with yourself prior to engaging in partnered sex more on that later. But, basically: Relax, breathe, and take it all in stride. The best thing you can do before you have sex for the first time: masturbate. This can be v empowering and make room for lots and lots of pleasure when it comes time for partnered sex, she confirms. Focus instead on what you're experiencing, what feels good, and the sensations of how exactly your partner is touching you. Hopefully this goes without saying but no need to schedule this like an appointment.
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Hey, it's okay to ask. We should all be doing whatever it takes to get more pleasure for ourselves and our partner or partners during sex. No one has the time these days to waste, so we'll make it easy for you. Want to know how to last longer in bed?
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A beginner's guide to sex
We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Sex should never be uncomfortable… except maybe in that hilariously awkward way.
The physical transformations your body undergoes as you age also have a major influence on your sexuality. Declining hormone levels and changes in neurological and circulatory functioning may lead to sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain. Such physical changes often mean that the intensity of youthful sex may give way to more subdued responses during middle and later life. But the emotional byproducts of maturity — increased confidence, better communication skills, and lessened inhibitions — can help create a richer, more nuanced, and ultimately satisfying sexual experience.